Windham Aging Awards Mini-Grant to Senior Solutions to Bring Music and Arts to Memory Cafes in Brattleboro and Wilmington

Tell us about yourself.

I’ve been working in private home health care for the last 15 years. My husband is working on finishing our home. I have a bad knee, which has really slowed me down. I’m pretty stressed about retirement, affording the house and my knee. I’ve been trying to swim every day, but it’s not getting better. We have lots of family nearby which is very comforting.

Please tell us about your experiences with people in the last decade or two of their lives.

I’ve seen how expensive it can be to stay at home if you need 24/7 care. Right now, it is very hard to find 24/7 care - especially if you’re in a rural area. It’s expensive just for the gas to reach people. There are visiting nurses for 8-12 hour shifts, but there is nobody after that. I get so many inquiries - I just can’t help everyone. I love my job because I’m able to help people do what they love at their home.

Many of my clients are artistic. They were able to continue their craft until their final year: needlework, quilting, painting, etc. That was a source of great contentment for them.

I also saw my father decline with Parkinsons. Thankfully, my mother was able to take care of him.

The hardest moment for my clients is giving up their driver’s license. Giving up your independence is so hard. You want to be able to get in your car and do anything you want. In our town, you can’t just walk to the grocery store.

What are your own plans for the last decade or two of your life?

I have 8 children. I’m hoping some of them will be able to care for me. So I don’t want long-term care insurance. Assisted Living isn’t too expensive at first, but as you need more medical care, the costs go up so high.

What would contentment look like for you in your older years?

If I were to be content in my older years, I’d want no financial stress, my health to be good, my drivers license or someone to drive me easily, and have my family around. Some of my clients are the last ones left. Their friends have passed and they have few if any family left. They’re lonely.

Tell us about yourself.

I’m 81 years old. I’m a retired physician. I recently moved to Brattleboro. And I’m a veteran.

Please tell us about your experiences with people in the last decade or two of their lives.

I’ve seen a lot over my years as a physician. Once you stop engaging, stop being interested in getting up in the morning and getting out of bed, things decline quickly. People can live so well and so long with good genes, not drinking too much, not smoking, interacting with others in a community - being a part of a social network, and not being alone - being married can provide this too.

My mother is still alive! She enjoys TV, reading, and conversations with her children and grand children several times per day. She is loved by cousins. She feels that she is an important part of a family.

What are your own plans for the last decade or two of your life?

I plan to grow old with my wife. I hope our children will take care of us as we need. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I can't drive anymore. That’s going to be very hard. I saw it all the time with my patients. Eventually, we may move into a facility, but I’d like to live at home for as long as I can. My biggest fear for myself is being overtreated when I don’t want to. That’s why I have an advanced directive

What would contentment look like for you in your older years?

Contentment for me will be all about my family, my health, and my mobility. I want to have morning breakfast with people I care about. I want to be physically active. I love to read and enjoy my book club. I don’t do TV, except for sports. I like to walk, kayak, canoe, bike, and cross country ski. I know I won’t be able to do all that forever! I like to volunteer with meals on wheels and hope I can do that for a lot longer.

Tell us about yourself.

I’m 77 years old and live in Wardsboro. My favorite thing to do is visit my niece in California. I could finally do that again after the pandemic. I work because I want to be needed by people other than my husband. He loves being waited on. He broke his hip after 45 years on ski patrol.

Please tell us about your experiences with people in the last decade or two of their lives.

Some of my clients have lived at home for 5-6 years before dying in their home. I know that if they went to a nursing home, they wouldn’t have lived as long. People give up the will to live in nursing homes. My clients are so glad they can stay at home.

What would you like a typical day to look like in your older years?

I’d like to wake up and have breakfast. Do my own shower. Do laundry if needed. Think about my meals for the day. Go out and sit on my porch. Enjoy it. Do some flower gardening. Mow my lawn. Have people in for dinner. I’d like as much independence and social life as possible.

What would contentment look like for you in your older years?

To be content, I’d like to be surrounded by music, flowers, gardening, friends, my church family on Sundays, my children, grandchildren, and my husband.

What are your own plans for the last decade or two of your life?

I would love to be able to stay in our home, but we’re not in a financial position to have 24/7 help. We’re 6 miles from the nearest store. We have family within an hour drive and a niece 5 minutes away. I hope my son moves closer to me. He wants to start building a house near me. Grand children can hopefully visit if he is closer. I plan to rely on my church, there are always people willing to drive someone for an appointment. I know at some point my kids will make the decisions.

Tell us about yourself.

We’re in our 60s and live in Marlboro. We ran a business together out of our home, but are mostly retired now.

Please tell us about your experiences with people in the last decade or two of their lives.

My mother lived with my sister who lives nearby for the last 25 years. She went to Holton Home in the end. When she had to stop driving, it was a nightmare, because there is no way of getting around in Marlboro. But Marlboro Cares was here. People came and brought meals, and physical therapy came here., We had many offers for rides to the hospital and other errands.

My sister was not there during the day, so we needed someone to come to the house. She had some wonderful long-time home caregivers over the 25 years. But there were times when there wasn’t anyone. Or scheduling was so hard. I had a list of people who were employed, but they’d get sick, leave the area, etc.. Everytime that happened, I’d have to dig up another person. It involved a lot of time, and we never knew where to start.

For my sister, it wasn’t very easy. My mother had been very warm and loving. But in her last years, she got a little more hard edge. There was a lot of tension because of that.

What are your own plans for the last decade or two of your life?

My daughter is building a home nearby and we hope we can rely on her as we age. My son offered to help her pay for the home. We built our house so that there are bedrooms on the first floor for later in life. So we hope to stay in Marlboro for as long as possible. Not driving will be very difficult. It’s possible that we’d move to Brattleboro in the last couple years of life. We’ll have to feel it out as we go.

What would contentment look like for you in your older years?

I hope to be able to go for walks, swims, cross country ski, have friends over, do crossword puzzles, read a lot, watch shows on the internet, eat well and maybe keep doing some of our professional work or volunteer board service. We’d like to be in-charge of our own existence as long as we can.

We’d like to enjoy time with our son and daughter as much as possible with calls and visits, and grandchildren if that ever happens. Our parents had mental issues when they got older and we don’t want that. We feel pretty fortunate compared to many of our friends right now.

Tell us about yourself.

I’m 57 years old and live in Putney. I run a small international non-profit. Not being able to travel during COVID was so frustrating. I was the full-time caregiver for my mother in addition to my work with my non-profit business. That led me to do more home healthcare work.

Please tell us about your experiences with people in the last decade or two of their lives.

I’ve seen the needs of my mother and others with dementia. This has helped me prepare more for what I want in my last decade of life. I was there for my mother. She always said her final days were in God’s hands - so much faith. My father didn’t have that faith, and his ending was so hard, he really had to fight every moment. When my mother reached her point of acceptance, she chose the death with dignity option.

Even the best facilities we have now are stressed and strained. I fear our elder care system is a house of cards. We don’t have the right human resources for when we have spikes in need, like COVID showed. And I don’t see it improving.

What are your own plans for the last decade or two of your life?

I have a family history of Alzheimers, so I’m guessing I’ll probably get it. I’ll want to make sure that all my ducks are in a row to stay at home. I want to stay active in my 80s. I’m hoping I can continue to ride snowmobiles for as long as possible.

I live in a rural location. I need to get out just for a drive sometimes. If I can’t drive, I hope my caregiver can do that with me. I want to have access to other activities to be engaged in outside my home.

I have many nephews and nieces. I hope that someone could take over care or at least continue to be engaged to help me.

What would contentment look like for you in your older years?

I want to have enough of my faculties to read a backlog of books, to do gardening in the summer, go for walks and hiking, drink iced tea while watching the birds from my porch, and do some sugaring in the spring. I want to be able to contribute to my non-profit as long as possible. And I want to stay engaged locally. I’m thankful that I’m in Vermont.